Why I no longer do this

Provide feedback forms

I’ve always done this in the past.

Ask for feedback after running a retreat, an event, or workshop. I send out a form to be filled in with a few questions and open space to comment.

It would help me make the next one better, and participants happier.

Or so I thought.

Then I realised this:

It doesn’t help at all. Not in the way that could really help.

When I run a women’s retreat I’ve always asked everyone at the very beginning of our journey together to be willing to share honestly. To create a sacred circle and how we do that by respecting confidentiality, speaking our truth, and knowing that no one is going to try and “fix” you or drop their agenda onto you, or criticize or judge you for anything you share.

You get to ask for what you need, even though for many women this is really a challenge. But it’s also an opportunity to breakthrough years of being silenced and not listened to.

I emphasize at the beginning of my retreats that I don’t want any of the participants to hold things in, and that they are able to come to me privately with anything that is bothering them, or that they want help with, or offer any suggestions. The worst thing is to not say anything, or speak behind the backs of those who they actually need to say something to, including me.

And believe me this STILL happens almost at every single retreat I’ve run in the past 9 years. Women don’t speak up in the sharing circle, or don’t seek me out to speak with me about something that bothers them or that they see could be done differently that would make their experience more enjoyable.

Why?

This is an old paradigm of how women used to be. And I want to help them break out of this old way of silently being.

Rather than stepping into the powerful beings that they are and speaking their truth they project authority onto someone else, usually the leader or facilitator, without owning their own inner authority and equality within the group. However, it’s the exact point of my women’s retreats and circles. To start to step into your own own authority and sovereignty where true connection and collaboration with one another is possible. This is the beauty of women coming together with intention to align with their feminine power and speak their truth.

So here’s the thing with the feedback forms.

It’s a way out.

A way out of real time sharing of what’s going on.

If they hadn’t spoken up about an issue that troubled them during the retreat, I see it there on the feedback form. But by then, it’s too late to address it and find a solution in real time that could have made the retreat even more enjoyable for them.

It actually surprises me what I’d see on the feedback forms. Such simple things that could have been a sentence or two of a suggestion in real time either in the group sharing or privately with me that could have made a big difference to them, and perhaps to others.

So that’s it.

No more feedback forms. Speak your truth in the moment or not at all.

The choice is up to each of us.

My intention is always to create the safe space for transformation and it comes with taking courage in real time sharing of what you feel, and how you see things, and offering any suggestions in the moment.

It’s always best to share in the moment and the opportunity is there every single day of the retreat.

It does require us to be present and in touch with how we feel in every moment and be willing to share that reality within the safety of being on retreat together.

With love,

Aesha

Aesha runs yearly retreats and you can find more info on her web page https://www.aeshakennedy.com/bali-yoga-retreat/